MIXED FEELINGS

Sooo...I have finally freed myself from the Demon TV and the Beelzebub Facebook long enough to get back to my blog...thank the Lord! Actually, it is rather lame to blame those things for my own procrastination, isn't it? I suppose I could be really, really lame and blame married life...but I don't think the Spirit would let me get away with that, seriously. I, and I alone, am responsible for my own stewardship of this writing gift that He has given me...and it is my sin and my sin alone to neglect it.

But enough beating myself up...that's actually not pleasing to God either. And it's certainly not why I've come back to this venue. The idea that has been rolling around in my head and heart for the last month or so has been the concept of mixed feelings. You know, that dilemma one finds oneself in when one can't quite decide how to feel about something. There are some events that happen and some ideas one runs into where, if one checks the Scriptures, one seems to find conflicting opinions and directives concerning the event or idea...or at least one seems to find conflicting opinions by various interpreters of the Scriptures as to what they say about the matter. Before I lose you, dear reader, let me elaborate on what I'm trying to get at here.

I think the best recent example that comes to my mind at this time is the killing of Osama bin Laden. OK, first of all, let it be known that I had nothing but support for this action and its results...I have never been nor will I ever be a pacifist...at least not to the extreme that I would advocate a kind of national turning of the other cheek that would expose innocent people to death and mayhem. Never did Jesus ever directly advocate pacifism...but I suppose that's for another blog, isn't it? Anyway, When I heard the news of his killing, I felt a profound sense of...relief. I can't lie and tell you I didn't also have a sense of justice and satisfaction at the news as well...but the revenge thing is something that, as a believer, I try my best to keep at arm's length. I just could not bring myself to the dancing in the streets and the "USA, USA" chants that exploded across the news on that day...yet I totally got where those folks were, particularly the 911 bereaved folks. I had a little more trouble getting where the pacifists who bewailed the killing were coming from...but I couldn't hate them either. I realize that we can't just go around assassinating whoever we feel like across the globe...but I do believe that there are some people who are just so dangerous that killing them is justified in that it saves countless other lives...which is why I also supported the killing of the drug lord Pablo Escobar. Who knows how many Colombians and Americans' lives that killing saved. To me, such an action is actually an act of great mercy...not to the one assassinated, but to his potential future victims. And the God that I know is all about mercy; did He not cause tyrants such as Naaman, Herod Antipas, and Nero to come to untimely ends to spare His people further death and mayhem? Yet he spared other tyrants, for reasons only He knows. Hence the mixed feelings; when it comes to our own emotions and opinions, there is rarely ever a pure feeling of one kind or the other.

Revenge is one concept where people cite different scriptures (out of context, mostly) as proof texts to support their pet ideologies or denominations. Some would go to the Psalms and Proverbs where the writer expresses satisfaction at the destruction of the wicked, or to Joshua where God commands the Israelites to wipe out the Canaanites to the last man, woman and child. Others would go to Ezekiel who writes that God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked and to the gospels where Christ expresses His love for all people, sinners included, and His repeated commands to forgive your enemies. Where does this leave me as a believer? Well, it leave me exactly where He wants me...DEPENDENT ON HIM. God does not force any of His children to think or react in a conformist, uniform way to any of the issues of the day...I believe that He fully understands that our opinions are shaped by our hereditary temperament, our upbringings, and other such involuntary factors that HE IS THE AUTHOR OF. It is certainly dismaying sometimes to see the results of our different outlooks on God, Christ and the Scriptures...thousands of denominations. But is this really so bad a thing? It seems like most people who say they long for Christian unity long for unity under THEIR doctrine and theology. Sorry folks, but that's more like theocracy...Iran style. Unity of doctrine and universal ecumenism will NEVER happen until we get to the New Heaven/New Earth...when we finally are freed from seeing through the glass darkly and we can see EVERYTHING.

Mixed feelings often also reflect not just a moral dilemma such as revenge vs. mercy, but the dilemma of "just do it" vs. careful consideration. I'm thinking now particularly of the ouster of Gaddafi from Libya. To tell the absolute truth, I'm really not sure what to make of this. On the one hand, I am really, really, really glad to see this maniac out of power. Gaddafi in my opinion was one of the most dangerously unstable dictators of the entire African continent, if not the world. Certainly a lot of good both for the citizens of Libya and for the world at large will come of his ouster from power. But some of the same questions raise their ugly heads as did in the Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns; When Gaddafi is gone, who takes his place? Do we know anything about these rebels that have ousted him? Reportedly, some of them from the Western part of the country have strong Al-Qaeda ties or are outright Al-Qaeda members. Not so with the rebels from the east; will they clash in an endless civil war like the factions of Iraq? If the easterners win, will Libya become like Pakistan, an Al-Qaeda hideout and a base for mayhem in Europe and America? Both liberals and conservatives are asking these questions, and not getting too many answers.There are those that say the president has delayed way too long in getting involved personally, and those that say that this is totally appropriate, that he is "leading from behind". Is this like another Bosnia, where inaction by the U.S. and the U.N. led to thousands of innocent deaths. Well...lots and lots of questions, hence the mixed feelings. I can't bring myself to celebrate Qaddafi's overthrow just yet until I see what happens to Libya in the longer story.

All of this is one big reason why, though I have strong conservative opinions, I realize that liberals often aren't the total ingrates and addled old hippies that conservatives make them out to be. For every thoughtful conservative such as George Will or Charles Krauthammer, there are thoughtful liberals like Fareed Zakaria and Bill Moyers. Conversely, for every inflammatory conservative like Anne Coulter or Mark Levin, there are inflammatory liberals like Michael Moore or Janeane Garafalo. Conversely, there are thoughtful and compassionate preachers like Wayne Monbleau, David Jeremiah and Charles Stanley; there are also inflammatory preachers like Jeremiah Wright and John Hagee. Folks, I realize that good strong debate is part and parcel of what makes our country and our faith great; but when it becomes just a shouting and name-calling match that borders on fisticuffs, then I tend to tune it out. Whether this makes me a fence-sitting moderate remains to be seen; I just really don't enjoy engaging in unproductive debate that strains at gnats and swallows camels; i.e, misses the big picture of things entirely. And for me, that Big Picture is THE LORD. No matter what politicians, preachers and military men might say or do regarding this or any other world scenario, HE is ultimately in charge and sovereign. And I have to believe that He is aware of all sides of every story; the sides that the media, despite their best or worst efforts, cannot or will not report accurately. He knows both sides of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. He knows both sides of the economic dilemma that our country faces. HE KNOWS ALL THE SIDES. Therefore, I have to believe that there are many situations where it really does not matter to Him which side I sympathize with. I know that statement can really ruffle feathers everywhere, from those that insist that choosing a side shows commitment and moral fiber, and not to do so shows weakness and spinelessness. And it's actually true that some situations demand choosing a side, and that God has His very definite preference; otherwise, the scriptures would never have been written. To believe that you cannot know what God's preference is on ANYTHING or know what scripture is really saying to me borders on agnosticism. But it seems that too often we use the scriptures to attempt to bludgeon our fellow humans, even our fellow believers, into submission to what really is OUR opinion and not necessarily God's. Therefore it is my belief that mixed feelings on many issues is a completely appropriate response and, if not, certainly a forgivable oversight on our part. Our God is big enough and gracious enough to accommodate us and our imperfect perceptions and ideas, as long as HE is the center.

Peace,
Tom Sebring